Have you ever noticed that it is much easier to
attract a potential partner or lover, if you already have one? Have you
noticed that if you are not really looking for a relationship a lot more
of people show an interest in you, but if you get desperate and show you
are looking for someone, they run away!
At least this has happened to me more than once and
I have talked to other people, that do confirm the same. It seems to be
quite common. If you have a partner, others want to partner with you, if
you are actively and obviously looking around, nobody cares, but if you
donīt even think about a mate, they come to you all by themselves. But
before we put this down to some bizarre quirk of human nature, lets look a
little at the cause of this behavior and see if we can make it work for
us.
A key thing in finding a mate is to not really need
one. This sounds odd, but it seems to be the plain truth. I found out,
that if you need or desire to look for a partner too much, it can drift
them away. But now, you say, what do I do if I really feel desparate? What
can I do if I am really looking for my match or mate?
Another tricky thing of human nature is that our
nervous system finds it difficult to tell the difference in between
imagined experience and a real one. Just think about watching an exciting
or very scary movie to see how easy it is to fool ourselves. And now, here
we go. This is the key to never feel desperate about finding a partner.
And this is the key rule of this article, and the
key rule to your success:
Imagining that we already have the perfect partner
and get into the feeling on how it would be to have him or her right now
calms down and pacifies our complete nervous system. It gives us a feeling
of fulfillment and takes away feelings of desperation. This comes into
effect particularly when you go let your imagination dive into details.
What you will do together, what you will say, where you will go and so
on...
This does not mean you should change your mind to
become a hopeless day dreamer. It is just meant to be what itīs meant for
(funny sentence, is it...?). This is, helping you to make your charisma
more attractive and to provide you with a personal appearance open to help
you to find your desired match in real life.
So please bear in mind that I am not talking about
yearning for someone. Sitting around depressivly yearning for someone is
absolutely different from imagining you already have them. Yearning is a
feeling of not having. It is a negative feeling and makes us even more
desparate. What we need to do is to discourage ourselves from cultivationg
such feelings. We shall rather encourage ourselves to cultivate feelings
from having and success. You can easily tell the difference, because such
feelings are loaded with positve energies and really can make us feel much
better.
Now you can say, this is just a trick of the mind.
And I will tell you - so what? It is more or less a trick of the mind. But
a trick that will really help you in your real search for your mate in
your real life! So - what? It is somewhat scientific and logic, and this
is why it works! Negative feelings of failure or resignative feelings that
we will never find anyone are also all part of imagination. Such feelings
will almost certainly prevent you from finding your match. Negative
imaginations can go as far as to prevent you from success in life. This is
using our mind and imagination against us. You all know such negative
feelings. And we all know how they can harm our lifes. But they are just
feelings and imagination. So, as we know such feelings and imaginations
are so powerful, why not using them to our benefit, instead of our
disadvantage? This is why it is true, that positive feelings and positive
imagination can help us not only to find a partner for us, but in our
complete life as well. They will definitely make you more successful. It
is only a question to control your imagination as far as possible. And
this can be very far!
If all this still sounds strange and odd to you,
remember what top athlets do if they want to improve their abilities. They
imagine achieving better times in a race, jumping higher, lifting heavier
weights and so on. They imagine how it will feel to achieve their goals.
Athlets do not have the time to mess around with tactics that donīt work.
Successful business people do not either. But both use positive
imagination to help them succeed and come at least mcuh closer to their
targets. And this is what you can do, too. You can use this effect in any
aspect of your private or business life. And you can use it in terms of
dating and matchfinding.
By simply imagining that we do have the perfect
partner already, and how this will feel like, we train our subconscious
mind to start making that happen. And because we are more calm and relaxed
about it, chances are high that we make the best out of it when the next
opportunity, say a good looking man or woman, comes along. If you are
actively going to try this and you are willing to spend a few minutes on
it every day, e.g. when you are sitting in the train, the subway, the
airport or wherever, you will move a nice step forward to your real life
dating success.